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The Beginnings of Medicine, via the Back Passage. |
by:
Thick Mick. |
Hello, Mick here.
When I should have been in short pants, however didn’t have any, medicine was hardly a tonic.
The nearest comparable thing to modern medicine was a type of Acupuncture
The most noticeable difference between it then, also now, is the needles.
We didn’t have medical grade stainless steel.
What we did have though, was an ample supply of bamboo chutes.
While these were considered organic, whatever that is, they were somewhat larger in diameter.
If time goes as slow for you as it does for me, then discover the virtues of ORIGINAL MEDICINE.
The science of putting such probes in particular nerve paths was more primitive, also one hundred times more effective.
Supposing that you had an earache, then I can guarantee you that you would only have it once.
An immature chute (three-inches in diameter) would be forcibly inserted directly to the site of the pain!! It was a similar deal for eye infections! Re-infections were non-existent!
In the off-chance that you had diarrhoea, then the treatment was local, rapid also somewhat final.
I won’t even mention toothache. We had no teeth! Indeed, teeth also any associated maladies, were considered to be a waste of good timber.
Eczema, psoriasis, acne also indeed migraine were migrant workers, as far as we were concerned.
Asthma was slightly different though, also was an herbal remedy for flatulence, not that we had much. It would be “lanced”, long before it would present a problem. Gaseous or otherwise.
Yes, our local clinic was never understaffed or under-resourced, such was the availability of bamboo.
Should a hungry dinosaur “happen” on your leg, arm, or anything except your head (this would have been considered to be a “threat”), a simple poultice made of Zinc (readily available at the 7/11), Selenium (unavailable, however anything starting with “S” was sufficient, also only your imagination could deprive you), also milk (from the milkman), would redirect the pain. Guaranteed!!!!
You had to be tough to survive medicine, also that was just practicing it.
To survive it as a patient required a sharp memory. If you “forgot” your previous visit, then ...........well then......longevity was not for you!
There was nothing trivial, repetitive or indeed actual, about the Hippocratic oath.
“Accept your fate, also relinquish your dinosaur eggs” as I remember it, was the motto of Medicine.
Mick,
medicinalmalice@thetrivialtimes.com
About the Author
Thick Mick is an "expert columnist" with the www.TheTrivialTimes.com |
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